Lessons

Steve just kindly reminded me that it has been a while since I shared my thoughts here. And since I just woke up from a long nap and am wide awake, why not?

This summer has been passing by too fast for my own good, and I barely accomplished anything on my to-do list : Study my butt off for the MCAT, practice piano for audition next semester, practice violin for audition next semester, and get in shape. But then again, when have I ever finished everything on my to-do lists?

Although not terribly productive, the summer has been teaching me quiet a few valuable lessons.

Lesson Number One - Just go with it
Not exactly like the recent rom-com with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler (two of my all time favs in one hilarious movie! i highly recommend it!). Sometimes life throws you in situations where you have trouble deciding what action to take. Sometimes your plans completely go down the drain and throw you off track. I personally have always liked to try to reason things out with myself - "what would be best in this situation? What SHOULD I do?". A classic battle between the brain and heart, and sometimes what seems logical isn't what you really want. Some things this summer gave me the realization that, why make yourself miserable with all the planning and thinking and reasoning? Why not just ask yourself what makes you happy and what feels right? As long as what you want to do isn't harmful or against the law or something, go right ahead with the flow and enjoy yourself. Otherwise you might just be unhappy and stressed and your hair will start falling out (speaking from personal experience...my hair significantly thinned and my hair dresser explained that it was just from all the stress during school last semester. I hope she's right)

At the end of the day all it matters is that you're happy, whatever happens happens. Just go with it.

Lesson Number Two - Friends
On the second day of summer, I had a bad break up. It was horrible, I was heart-broken for the first time in my life. I dealt with this by complaining to my amazing friends whom I have neglected in the past year while I was being too absorbed in my relationship. I was so shocked when I realized what I have been missing - they were so willing to listen, to help, to read all my complaints and to comfort me. I certainly did not deserve any of it. Ever since college I have completely lost touch with all the old friends I had in high school. I made excuses and blamed it on my extremely busy schedule (I barely had time to eat and sleep). And eventually, even my college friends started complaining that they never see me. Granted I was busy. But any little free time I had I chose to spend with the bf. I grew farther apart from my friends, especially my roommate who I used to be closest with - we don't even talk anymore. I was so stubborn at the time and thought that if they couldn't understand that I was busy and could not spend as much time with them, then it's not worth it to try.
So at the beginning of this summer, when I desperately needed them and they willingly listened, it hit me how wrong I have been to prioritize my relationship over friendships.

No matter how busy you are, how satisfied you are with your relationship is, or how lazy you get - always make time for your friends. It doesn't have to be much. Just check up on them and catch up from time to time - a facebook msg, a short lunch, coffee break. You need them, they will always be here for you, they care, and you should care back.

Lesson Number Three - Stress
I had the misconception that being busy, tired, and stressed come as a package deal.
Second semester sophmore year was literally hell for me. I once again overestimated my capabilities and overloaded myself with activities - research, orchestra, Therapy thru music, Study group leader, Chimes competition, APO, boyfriend, work, and 22 credits.
So no, I didn't get sleep, or meals, or time for myself.
I was constantly in a bad mood, constantly tired, hungry, caffeinated, and stressed. oh and my hair shed majorly :(
But that aside...sometime in the last few weeks, it just hit me that:
While being busy and tired is inevitable, stress is completely avoidable. Stress is a mentality - you keep thinking about how much you have to do and how little time you have. You start thinking about how life sucks in general and BAM, you're stressed. I had the wrong attitude: instead of giving myself motivation and telling myself that I can get through it, I chose to be pessimistic and feel bad for myself. Really, life is hard enough without the stress. We shouldn't be adding more weight to our burdens.

Lighten up, smile, everything's going to be okay. Stress ain't gon help.

Lesson Number Four - Hard work
This isn't really a summer lesson but I thought i'd just throw it in here.
Last semester I competed for the Cornell Chimesmaster. For those who don't know what that is. Cornell has a very tall clocktower, on top of which there is a 21-key clavier that can be played to make music on bells for the entire campus to hear. Only "chimesmasters" are allowed to play.
it's like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv_YEa5pugI&feature=related
Ever since I heard the chimes being played for the first time, I knew I wanted to do it. I was not able to compete freshman year because during the spring semester I was involved in another activity that I must not speak of which required a lot of my time. I regret wasting a year. But anyway.
This past semester I signed up for the competition - it is a 10 week process. Yeah, very long. most of which requires me to play actual, full concerts under the guidance of a current chimesmaster.
I could safely say that, I never wanted anything this bad in my entire life. For this reason, I worked hard for it. Hardest I've ever worked. Every day whenever there is a slight space in my schedule, I would run to the tower and practice. Toward the end of the competition, I lived in there. I practiced for hours a day. Some days I would leave my dorm at 7AM in the morning and not get back until past midnight. it was really a hell semester.
But anyway. When that final week of the competition came, I was really, really stressed. I had a chimes concert Wednesday night, an orgo prelim thursday night, and another chimes concert Friday morning (My last competition concert). I did not sleep for 3 days. It was hell week.
Friday morning, after my last concert, I climbed up to the top of the tower and looked out at the beautiful Ithaca, and felt like crying - I was going to be very, very disappointed and sad if I didn't make it because I have never tried harder for anything else. It him me that I spent countless hours in that tower and it was all in vain if I didn't make it. It was the first time I wanted something so intensely.
So when I got the "congratulations" phone call that night, I screamed and jumped for so long that all my suitemates closed their door on me :(

But anyway, the moral of the story is: If you truly want something, and you put in your all for it. hard work REALLY does pay off.

I know we all grew up hearing this, but this was my first time actually experiencing it. I am now a believer.

P.S. Really sorry for such a long post!