Ms. Betty was a patient I fell for, pretty quickly. But the unfortunate thing is, I don't know if the person I fell for was Ms. Betty, or who her dementia made her to be.
She was a teacher. Taught at PS 443, she would always gleam and say proudly. For how many years? I would always ask. Oh, way too many, would always be the response.
She got cranky a lot. A lot of yelling, about how nurses were trying to feed her poison (medicine). But I knew how to calm her down - "Ms. Betty do you like traveling?". "Oh, I traveled the world!!" Her face would always soften when she said that. "Of course, I can't do it anymore, but I went everywhere!".
----------------------------------------She was a teacher. Taught at PS 443, she would always gleam and say proudly. For how many years? I would always ask. Oh, way too many, would always be the response.
She got cranky a lot. A lot of yelling, about how nurses were trying to feed her poison (medicine). But I knew how to calm her down - "Ms. Betty do you like traveling?". "Oh, I traveled the world!!" Her face would always soften when she said that. "Of course, I can't do it anymore, but I went everywhere!".
Ms. Betty doesn't have the capacity to make decisions for herself. Jenny, contact her nephew to get consent for an endoscopy.
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Ms. Betty was found confused and dehydrated in her bed at home by a concerned doorman, who had not seen this 93 year old tenant in 3 days. She lived alone, and had no family in this city.
"You're a medical student?" She looked up at me as I introduced myself over her hospital bed. "You know what my first choice career used to be?"
"Let me guess, could it have been....a doctor?"
"That's right!" She gazed off with a big smile, "I was pre-med, and I really wanted to go to medical school...but a job as a teacher was easier to find back then..."
"Wow that's funny!" I couldn't help sharing "I wanted to be a teacher! Almost didn't come to medical school, if you can believe it!"
"Oh that is very funny," she chuckled "We could've traded places!"
We stayed in that moment for a few seconds, smiling at each other. Then she exclaimed, "Anyway, these thieves just stole my money, my bag, and 4 of my canes! Find me my New York Times, will you help me?"
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Ms. Betty doesn't have the capacity to make decisions for herself. We need this procedure done.
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I held her hands as they prepared to poke a large needle in her belly. To take the fluid out.
"What is this, a circus?" Ms. Betty was displeased "I'm old, I don't need you to take all these heroic measures to save me. Whatever happens, happens. I don't want this."
"You'll feel a lot better after this, Ms. Betty."
"I'm old!! I'm never going to be like you again. You just have to accept it! If things hurt, I'll just have to accept that it's a part of the end!"
I didn't know what to say.
"Do you have any old people in your life?" She demanded.
"Yes, I do."
"Well talk to them, ask them what they want at the end. It's important."
And the needle went in.
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Ms. Betty doesn't have the capacity to make decisions for herself. She can't go back home. She has no family. We have to send her to a nursing facility.
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"Were you ever married, Ms. Betty?" We were trying to distract her as the nurse prepared her injections.
"Oh no." She replied "I had millions of children, though."
"Millions?" Here goes her confusion again, we thought, and exchanged glances.
"Yes. My students."
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